Introduction: Several Hispanic homosexuals who want to live a chaste life have written to Vida Humana Internacional to request help. One of them was sent a reply by Father J. Lloyd , whose letter we reproduce here. Reading it might help other homosexuals in similar circumstances.

Dear J:

Your letter has come across my desk and I hasten to reply to you. I note from the tone of the letter that you are an intelligent, good,decent and sensitive young man who is suffering real pain. I should like, first of all, to say that regardless of any psychosexual orientation or "feelings", it is essential that you know deep down inside that YOU are important to God and that He loves you with an implacable love. This is vitally important for you to "feel" if you are going to reach the goal you wish. That goal is what? To be free of these feelings and perhaps some day to fall in love with a pretty girl (a dish) and have your own children? This is a good goal. In your case, since you are young and since you desire to love women and since you deeply believe in the Lord, Our Lady and St. Joseph, I know you can reach improvement. Just how much is difficult to say. Clearly the best thing is to work with someone who is knowledgeable about homosexual orientation. I know that your opportunities for psychiatrists and psychologists are limited, if not non-existent. I wish there were a skillful priest you could contact who could work with you on this cross! Some priests are highly trained beyond the usual priest level.

Do you live in Spain? Are you near Madrid? Barcelona? Would you risk sharing this problem with a sympathetic local priest who might, in turn, be able to make contact for you? All the time protecting your identity! You must remember that you did not choose these feelings. I think you --without even knowing it-- learned to react automatically the way you do. It is highly probable that you were NOT born with these feelings--called "same-sex attraction". In your letter you do a very good job detailing the possible causes (?) of your problem.

All of them have some plausibility. Principally, the lack of closeness with your father. He is surely a good man but probably unaware or unable to express the kind of love you want from him. You may be seeking this love in your "feelings" for men. The feelings are NOT really the problem. They are the consequences of a lot of other things. To the extent that you could reach out to other people in friendship and to the extent that YOU feel loved and wanted and to the extent that you feel close to others, the unwanted feelings would diminish. I must caution you not to expect a quick "fix" or some kind of thunderbolt healing. These might feel good at first but they don't last. What you will have to do will require hard work and prayer and the Eucharist and time. It is such a complex problem that the simplistic answer cannot do the job. You want healing NOW but you will have to accept the fact that you are in for a tough and reasonably long haul. But it can be done! IT IS ALSO POSSIBLE I wish that you could find a Courage group where you are. Being with others sharing the same problem helps a great deal. Your spiritual life is essential. Since God loves you and has set out the happy path for you, you would be wise to accept His plan, You may have to learn how to relate to others differently. I would urge you not to be a loner or a brooder. That is lethal. And NEVER allow yourself to feel sorry for yourself. That does not help but rather it will corrode you and make you less able to get where you want go.

There is much to say. If you wish to write to me, I would be delighted to correspond with you but we need the intermediary to translate. Meanwhile you are in my prayers. God be with you and the Blessed Mother and the beloved St. Joseph.